🔌
⚠️ SEV 1 OUTAGE ⚠️ - SPANNING TREE RECALCULATING... ESTIMATED DOWNTIME: FOREVER - PLEASE DO NOT LET FREDRIK TOUCH THE SWITCHPORT - ⚠️
DEFCON 1 ⚡ UPS BATTERY: 14% 🚨 CISO ESCALATION IN: 02:45
🎙️ AUDIO SENSORS: Monitoring Server Room for Screaming (78dB)
RACK TEMP: 98.4°C
🚨 Severity 1: Fredrik Touched The Core Switch

Hi to Fredrik! 👋

Imagine checking the BGP routing table expecting stability, only to find a tailored disappointment.

CAM 02B - RACK-CORE-01 ● REC
[MOTION DETECTED: USER 'FREDRIK' NEAR FIBER TRAY]
Evidence
Exhibit A: Unplugged Fiber Cable
switch-core-01# terminal monitor
switch-core-01# ping 192.168.1.1
Type escape sequence to abort.
Sending 5, 100-byte ICMP Echos to 192.168.1.1, timeout is 2 seconds:
switch-core-01(config)#
> Packets blackholed: 0
> Target IP: 192.168.1.FREDRIK
> Client Platform: Loading target OS...
> Recommended fix: Conf t -> No Fredrik
> LinkedIn Status: Updating to #OpenToWork (0%)
Alert!
SLACKnow
IT Director (Boss)
Fredrik, why is the core switch offline? Step into my office immediately.
It looks like you unplugged the core routing fabric! Would you like help drafting your apology letter to the CEO?
📎

CABLE EMERGENCY REPAIR

Select the correct cable to reconnect to Core Switch:

🟡 Blue Fiber Cable (Port 01)
🔴 Red Ethernet Cable (Gateway)
🟢 Green Grounding Wire

Network Security Verification

Select all images containing technical network equipment to prove you are authorized:

🔌
🔥
✂️
🧵
☕
🖧
[EMERGENCY BGP OVERRIDE CONSOLE]

Enter SysAdmin master bypass key to override Fredrik's lockout:

Corporate HR Offboarding

Since your network access termination is currently processing, please rate your offboarding experience:

:(

Your network ran into a problem because of Fredrik.

We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you.

Uploading browser history to Corporate HR... 0% complete

For more information about this issue and possible fixes, visit https://cisco.com/stopcode

If you call a support person, give them this info:

Stop code: LAYER_8_FREDRIK_FATAL_ERROR

What failed: BGP_SESSION_COLLAPSE.sys